Honorable Mention: Burnout 3

Posted on 27th February 2011 in Something Daily

I have always had a special place in my collection for racing games. Typically, while I devote a lot of time and effort to completing story-based games (Mario, Zelda, Metroid, et cetera), racing games are usually the games I play when I don’t care to think about plot or be forced to attempt the same objective again and again. These days, it’s Super Mario Kart, in my childhood it was Mario Kart 64 and Diddy Kong Racing, and last summer, when I briefly owned a Playstation 2, it was Burnout 3. One of these things is not like the others.

I really liked Extreme G 2. I also really liked the above mentioned DKR and MK games, and F-Zero. I like these probably because they’re complete fantasy – arcade style controls and/or speeds that no real car could ever achieve. I’m not into playing driving games that attempt to make you feel like you’re actually driving a car. Gran Turismo and Need for Speed have never really been my thing, mainly because I don’t think it’s at all fun to not be able to drift around corners or shove other drivers off the track just because a real car can’t do it. That’s where Burnout 3 comes in: to me it’s quite a good blend of realism and arcade ridiculosity. The cars have real names and look like things that you’d actually drive, but they handle impossibly well (for the most part) and do, in fact shove other cars all over the place. They’ve got you racing through back alleys and on highways and in the middle of street markets. It’s all very fantastic and kind of silly.

The fact that the camera automatically goes into slow motion every time you take another car down by ramming the crap out of it is just one more reason. It’s all really indicative of how arcade-y the game really is. And if I remember correctly, they’ve got a ridiculous radio DJ on announcing the whole thing. It’s a lot of fun. I played through the whole thing last summer when I was bored out of my mind lifeguarding by day and gaming by night. I did notice, though, when I started to play it more and more, that I’d be driving in real life in a real car and have the impulse to do Burnout drifts and knock slow drivers around a little bit – this game is dangerous. The same thing happens to me with Mario Kart, though, so maybe I’m just hypersensitive to it. But anyway. One more honorable mention and then the list can truly begin.

What I was like in Elementary School?

Posted on 16th February 2011 in Something Daily

I remember a time in elementary school when I was walking along right down the middle of the playground with my friends Ben and David. There were kids playing and having recess all over the place – the cool kids were over to our right playing kickball (Eric, Greg, and Zach especially – they had an immeasurable impact on my personality. I got bullied a decent amount in elementary school.) and there were probably some girls (Natalie and Stephanie) over in the trees pretending to be horses and playing in the dirt. Ben and David and I were talking about which animal we would morph into if we were Animorphs, and just walking down the middle of the playground. I was probably in the middle of a sentence (one of us was, at least) when I was leveled by a kickball that hit me directly in the side of my face, having been kicked from about thirty or forty feet away. I remember getting immediately to my feet and continuing to walk as if nothing had happened. On a related note, if I were an Animorph, I would morph into a wolf. My roommate says he’d morph into a dragon, and my other roommate says velociraptor (my second choice).

There was also a time before the tetherball got removed from our playground (because this guy tried to strangle this girl with the rope, or because kids were hitting it too hard, or something) when I walked over to a group of girls who I probably thought were cute and addressed them with “hi guys.” This girl Grace responded with something like “uh, we’re not guys…” Since then, I’ve always had it in the back of my head that girls secretly don’t like being collectively referred to as “guys”.


Look how cute I was in elementary school. Were you this cute? Probably not.
Picture me with a Gameboy and a Lil’ Bow Wow CD.

I was pretty cool when I was around the ages of 7 to 11. I listened to Nirvana and Wierd Al, and I have several distinct memories of running around the playground with my shirt collar around the back of my head screaming something about the end of the world. I was certainly “that one kid”. I still am. I played a pretty substantial amount of Diddy Kong Racing, XG2, Lego Racers, Super Mario 64, Ocarina of Time, 1080 Snowboarding, Pokemon Snap, Banjo Kazooie, Gex, Glover, Wave Racer, Mario Party 2, and Jet Force Gemini. But the first N64 game I ever played, before I even owned the console, was Rampage: World Tour. I was also a Pokemon card and game aficionado; I often brought my Gameboy Pocket to school to trade with people with the link cable. And I was crazy about Lil’ Bow Wow’s first album, “Beware of Dog”.

One of my best friends to this day is a person who I know because in elementary school, I heard that he knew all the lyrics to “All Star” by Smash Mouth, and I really wanted to meet this person. I was amazed that someone could actually remember all the words to a song so amazing.